“When I imagine a man touching me intimately, every fiber of my body tenses”

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Ines Anioli manages to make people laugh and brood at the same time. The comedian breaks taboos. In the GALA interview, she speaks ruthlessly honestly about the time in which she lost herself. A conversation that gets under your skin.

Ines Anioli is loud and funny on stage, her rough, honest humor is contagious. On the phone, the Berliner by choice is quieter and more thoughtful, but just as honest as in her shows.

Ines Anioli: “I was manipulated pretty quickly”

Ines Anioli addresses taboo topics that shouldn’t actually be taboo topics. In her previous podcast “Better Than Sex” (Note d. Red .: The podcast was discontinued in August 2019) she and her friend Leila Lowfire talked ruthlessly honest about men, dates and bed stories in their new “Spotify Original” podcast “Me-Time” (from now on every second Saturday exclusively on Spotify) Ines Anioli talks about what has accompanied her for over a year: their toxic relationship. “If I can raise awareness or even help with my story, I’ve already won. I don’t wish anyone what I’ve experienced in the past,” Anioli says in an interview with GALA and reveals how she felt that she was in a toxic state Relationship is stuck.

GALA: You are a professional in podcasting, your last podcast “Besser als Sex”, which you hosted together with Leila Lowfire, was extremely successful. Why did you decide to do your own podcast “Me-Time” from now on?
Ines Anioli: I just love the podcast world and I’ve always wanted to go in that direction. I never wanted to stop with “Better than Sex”, I just couldn’t talk about the topic that bothered me so much. And now I’ve looked for a topic that occupies me extremely.

Toxic relationships.
I agree. I already addressed the subject in “Better Than Sex” and received an incredible amount of feedback from those affected. And because I know how alone you feel in such a situation, I feel the need to help people who have suffered the same thing. I know what it is like when seconds suddenly feel like days and you can’t get out of this victim role.

“I cried snot and water”

What helped you
Physical work. I have talked a lot in my therapy sessions and have been told hundreds of times to take better care of myself and my body and not trust everyone directly. But then it happens to me again. For example, after an hour of therapeutic boxing, I felt really bad, cried snot and water and also injured my hand. I wouldn’t do it again, but looking back, it was extremely helpful.

In what way?
I had to wear a splint for four weeks. But that was only half as bad, the mental pain was much, much worse. And at that moment I realized that I was not only suffering from an emotional, but also a physical trauma.

How did you realize you were in a toxic relationship?
I now know that I felt that from the beginning, but I ignored the signals from my body.

“I let myself be persuaded that I am to blame for everything”

What was that?
I let my ex-boyfriend manipulate me pretty quickly. And unfortunately believed him every excuse immediately. Only today do I know how insane it all was! But if you are in it yourself, you are no longer objective. I lost myself completely and didn’t speak to anyone anymore, that was probably my biggest mistake. Toxic relationship – when love makes you sick

You have eaten everything in …
Yes, and let myself be persuaded that I am to blame for everything and must therefore be punished. At some point I just didn’t dare to open my mouth. This is this shitty vicious circle!

Still, you broke up.
And to this day I don’t know where I got the strength from to close this chapter forever. Before the breakup, I went on tour with my “Cumedy” program. As a result, a great dream of mine has come true. My therapist suspects that the positive feedback from my audience has strengthened my self-confidence and helped me. It was only then that I realized that not everything I do is wrong.

Could you have imagined sharing your experiences with the public back then?
I never thought that at some point I would be able to speak about it publicly. Now I’m doing it because I had to finish a podcast about what happened to me and the subject has been a big chapter of my life ever since. And if I can raise awareness or even help with my story, then I’ve already won. I do not wish to anyone what I have experienced in the past.

Ines Anioli: Ready for a new relationship?

Did you speak to your ex-boyfriend again after the breakup?
Actually, I always find a clarifying conversation important – in friendships as well as in relationships. Of course, this won’t work if the wounds are fresh, but once the situation has eased a little, speaking can work wonders – usually. Unfortunately, it didn’t work for me and my ex-boyfriend. Ines Anioli: Interview

Are you dating again now?
No, I’m not ready for that yet. Nevertheless, I’m incredibly fascinated by people, especially great women. I didn’t become lesbian or bisexual all at once, I just still don’t feel like getting physical with a person. When I just imagine a man touching me intimately, every fiber of my body tenses.

Sources used:own interview

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