You already have here a new installment of sex office that each week brings you 20 minutes. To ask your question write to consultoriosexo@20minutos.es. These are the answers this week has given our expert, Santiago Frago. You may check their website here.

Better posture for the woman to enjoy

QUESTION What position is the best for the woman to enjoy? With my wife the usual one is enough, the missionary one they call, but we would like to try others. Can you suggest some?

ANSWER FROM THE EXPERT In an erotic context of a couple there are no better or worse positions, there are simply people who choose what and how they like the most and, above all, with whom.

It is evident that the survival of love as a couple requires care and dedication, that is, you have to dedicate yourself to love. And that must also be transferred to the level of eroticism and sexuality as a couple, and all with the aim of making our sexual life less predictable and routine.

For all this, I would encourage you to look for a time and space to have a playful conversation that allows you to talk about your desires, expectations and erotic fantasies.

Pleasant anal penetration

QUESTION My husband is suggesting anal penetration. I had never considered it and I have some fears. What should I do to make it enjoyable?

ANSWER FROM THE EXPERT Erotic tastes and desires move in the key of diversity and also change over the years and the dynamic and changing evolution of the relationship.

It is interesting to open up to versatility in terms of erotic games, but it is no less true that this versatility is conditioned to your wishes.

Anal penetration, as an erotic game in the couple, does require certain guidelines subordinate to the peculiar anatomical structure of the anal area.

The anal area is an anatomical structure without its own lubrication system, therefore, once the mutual desire has been agreed upon, certain recommendations should be taken into account:

1.Healthy dietary habits (Mediterranean diet) that facilitate intestinal motility the days before the erotic encounter.

2.Proper genital hygiene before and after the game.

3.Condom if applicable, which we will discard if we later include vaginal penetration.

4.Essential hydration of the anal area.

5.A previous pelvic floor training will allow you to know how to relax and contract the perianal muscles and thus make things easier.

6.Choose a posture appropriate to the body structure of the couple.

7.The receiving person must set the rhythm of the erotic encounter and be in control at all times.

8.Keep cleaning wipes on hand.

9.If pain or discomfort appears, abandon the erotic game.

Stinging

QUESTION For a month I have been itching with penetration. It didn’t happen to me before. I finally finish but I have a bad time and with that pain. My boyfriend doesn’t explain it. Could it be his fault? How is it treated? Thank you.

ANSWER FROM THE EXPERT When speaking of “stinging” I will consider that you speak of a context of vaginal penetration, as a consequence of a “dyspareunia”.

More information is needed on the type of pain, its location, its persistence, its intensity…, in order to be able to outline the causes of your discomfort.

That it started to happen to you a month ago, that is, in a sudden and unexpected way, suggests and makes us think of some hormonal alteration, vaginal pathology or side effect of a drug that you have started to take.

Once the ultimate cause of your discomfort is clarified, the treatment is usually simple; Yes, I would immediately advise you to avoid intercourse while waiting for you to consult with a sexology and / or gynecology professional in your geographical area.

I penetrate and she resumes her stimulation

QUESTION I already know from your previous answers that most women do not orgasm with penetration, but rather have to stimulate the clitoris.

I do this with my girlfriend, who reaches orgasm easily, but when I penetrate, she resumes her stimulation, and I no longer understand this, I don’t see it very well, because it seems that I am not enough for her and it “pissed me off. What should I do, tell or try to cope? Thanks for your help.

ANSWERS FROM THE EXPERT The responsibility for erotic pleasure as a couple has more to do with oneself than with the partner. As you mentioned, in order for a woman to reach orgasm during vaginal penetration, combined and simultaneous clitoral stimuli are usually required.

The fact that your girlfriend assumes, in your shared erotic encounter, responsibility for her own pleasure and her own sensations, is a sign of partner complicity and a guarantee for the sexual satisfaction of both.