In the northern hemisphere, schools have already started an unprecedented return to school. Individual tables, masks, precautions when entering, precautions when leaving, at breakfast time, with extracurricular activities …
For the kids, the new normal It has different colors: there are children who do not want to go to school, while others are very happy to return and others have a rather neutral attitude.
As parents, is there anything we can do to encourage a positive attitude in our children? that facilitates their adaptation to the new normal and learning? Absolutely. As mothers and fathers we are constantly – consciously or unconsciously – creating contexts of possibility or difficulty for our children.
We do it from three ways: with our emotional state, with our use of the word and with the attention we give them.
The emotional tone of the fathers and mothers determines that of the children. If we are in tension and we feel sad, they will drink these emotions. If we feel anxiety, they will catch it. The smaller the more they will soak up our mood. That is why it is our responsibility to have a focused and rather positive frame of mind, most of the time. There are many ways to facilitate this. One of my favorites is to adopt an attitude of gratitude towards life, no matter what happens.
2-Measure words and speech
The words generate realities. If I say, “What a shame, these children are not going to be able to socialize well by wearing a mask” – although perhaps, to a certain extent, it is still true – I will be transmitting this frustration and a problem for my children, who would not adapt more easily to this measure by listening to it.
On the other hand, it is very common to get carried away by monothem covid-19 in family spaces, which, although it may not seem like it, impacts our children always with the antennas on, generating unnecessary worries. One way to neutralize this effect is to talk about it when they are not around and decide to talk about other things when the whole family is together.
3-Give them attention
One way to ensure their adaptation and integration into these new learning spaces is listening to them, giving them the most valuable thing we have: our attention. Finding a time during the day when asking how you feel, how you have experienced the day, is a simple and powerful action.
In doing so, it is important to start don’t try to “fix” what they tell us, but rather focus on listening to them, articulating with our words what they have told us, which will help them feel accepted and understood.
And above all, accept that, as fathers and mothers, no matter how hard we try we are ‘pifiando’ constantly. Being in contact with this fact frees us from wanting to be perfect, filling us with the necessary humility to get back on our feet after each stumble on the beautiful and tortuous path of parenting.