Is it strange that I don’t feel like I have sex?

Every week, we ask a medical expert a health question. This week: I have less interest in sex. Does that sound strange? Katrien Van Wijnendaele is a general practitioner.

I don’t feel the need to have sex. Is this normal?

“I am surprised at the high threshold required to attend the consultation for libido complaints. This taboo must be abolished. Shame is motivated by stories about sex. We believe you should be in the mood all the time and sexual stimulation should not be an issue. It’s normal to have periods of less sexual drive.

What is the secret to these periods?

There are many reasons why this might happen. People often feel less sense of self when they have young children. When they have children, they are often busy and tired. They also fear being disturbed by them during sex.

Is it really psychic?

It is possible. Stress, for instance, can be a problem. Being stressed can make it less likely that you will fall in love. It can also be caused by trauma or depression. It can also be caused by a history of abuse or fearful thoughts about one’s body, such as after a heart attack.

Could there be a medical problem?

“Medically, there’s usually nothing wrong. As a side effect, some medicines can cause a reduction in libido. For example, antidepressants, heart and blood pressure medications, and diabetes medicines. These medications can affect libido and erection. Women may experience a phase called “transition” that can lead to libido loss.

“The contraceptive pill (and sometimes the hormonal IUD) can both lead to less sex drive. Some are more sensitive than others. It is important to talk with your doctor. You may have other options that are less irritating. “

“Try to listen carefully to each other and not take things personally.”

What is the “normal” sex frequency for men?

“There are no rules. Some people don’t feel the need to sex. Some people are perfectly content without sex. It doesn’t say much about how much you love your partner. However, if one of you wants to have more sex than the other, this creates a problem. Talk about it and seek solutions.

What are the solutions?

Talking together about things can make all the difference. It is important to listen to each other, and not to take things personally. There is a difference in sex and love. Discuss what you love and what you don’t. Also, do nice things together. Intimacy and sex are all about connection. Connection is essential for sexual arousal in many people.

“Keep talking to one another, don’t do any against your will, and if it becomes problematic in your relationship, talk to a sex therapy.”

Can it disappear on its own?

“Often it is. Holidays are often times when there is suddenly more sex. This is not only because you are able to have peace but also because your partner has real attention.

Katrien Van Wijnendaele practices as a general practitioner at Barneveld

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