Couples separated by the pandemic: how love is lived from a distance

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Living difficult moments away from loved ones, aggravates the situation, highlights the psychologist Natalia Gilabert.

There are thousands of couples in the world with members from different countries who have managed to be a support and support from a distance, holding their hope in the frequent visits that could be made. Many of them with plans to unify and consolidate the couple somewhere in the world. It is when love beats context and distance. Many of these couples have been separated in the world by the invisible wall of closed borders.

The pandemic is undoubtedly a huge threat to the brain. The threatened brain is in turn a trigger for multiple physical and emotional disorders. Research has shown that having a close, safe and trustworthy relationship – that is, having a person who is our safe harbor in times of storms – changes the way the brain reads the world’s threats and reacts to them. Therefore, having a safe love relationship constitutes a foundation for emotional and physical health, improving our immune system.

Scholars of interpersonal relationships have long realized how terrible it is to go through a difficult situation without the presence of our loved ones. Science has shown that this is not only true for children but also for adults.

The distance from our loved ones has become irreversible today in many cases in our country. That weakens us, takes away our base, our safety net that would allow us to face almost any situation with greater strength and health. If there is something worse than suffering fear, it is suffering it alone.

Many people who are physically distant from their loved one have organized themselves into virtual groups to provide support and information. These networks show how human beings need each other to go through the most terrible situations. One of these name groups Love is not tourism brings together people from all over the world.

It is moving to witness the pain of many and the relief, however slight, that arises from the possibility of share such suffering with those who go through the same situation. In some countries of the world they are granting special permits so that people who love each other, but whose union is not certified by marriage or residence papers, can meet again. In Argentina we are waiting to consider this possibility.

Love is not a luxury, it is a human need wired in our brains since we are born. Human beings look for meaningful links to turn to in difficult times. That is, love is a matter of survival. And the distance of our love in times of storm puts us at risk.

* My name is Natalia Gilabert, I am a clinical psychologist, couples therapist and supervisor of therapy focused on emotions certified by ICEEFT Canada, and in love with a person who has been separated from me by the invisible wall that divides Argentina with the United States.

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